The question of jurisdiction may arise when divorcing spouses live in different states. If one spouse does not want the divorce proceedings to take place in Texas, she may challenge Texas’ jurisdiction under section 120A of the Texas Rules of Civil Procedure. If the court denies the motion for special appearance, then the judge will sign an Order Overruling Plea to the Jurisdiction.
Exercises for Divorcing Parents
The Cooperative Parenting Institute designs material for divorcing parents. The following two exercises are taken from their workbook “Cooperative Parenting and Divorce: A Parent Guide to Effective Co-Parenting.”
Love Isn’t Easy . . . How Far Will You Go?
Directions: Slowly read each question asking yourself, “How far will I go?” Answer honestly. You will notice that the first five questions present easier decisions because they indicate eminent physical danger while the last five present emotional danger. Are you willing to risk placing your child in danger of any kind?
- Would you jump into an ice-cold stream to save your child from drowning?
- Would you give up one of your kidneys if it would save your child’s life?
- Would you sell all your worldly possessions for costly life-saving surgery for your child?
- Would you change your diet if your child’s doctor diagnosed your child with diabetes?
- Would you give up smoking if your child had a high risk of lung disease or asthma?
- Would you forgive your child’s other parent to help your child develop a healthy self-esteem?
- Would you let go of the past to give your child a positive future?
- Would you let go of bitterness/anger if your child developed anxiety symptoms?
- Would you use impulse control if it would teach your child to think before he acted?
- Would you give up being right so your child wouldn’t feel caught in the middle?
Divorce Rules
Directions: Post these rules on your refrigerator as a reminder of your commitment to care. Ask your child to let you know if you forget one of the rules. Never reprimand your child when he or she gives you this feedback.
Dear Mom and Dad, I’m just a kid, so please . . .
- Do not talk badly about my other parent. (This makes me feel torn apart! It also makes me feel bad about myself!)
- Do not talk badly about my other parent’s friends or relatives. (Let me care for someone even if you don’t.)
- Do not talk about the “divorce” or other grown up stuff. (This makes me feel sick. Please leave me out of it!)
- Do not talk about child support. (This makes me feel guilty or like I’m a possession instead of your kid.)
- Do not make me feel bad when I enjoy my time with my other parent. (This makes me afraid to tell you things.)
- Do not block my visits or prevent me from speaking to my other parent on the phone. (This makes me very upset.)
- Do not interrupt my time with my parent by calling too much or by planning activities during our time together.
- Do not argue in front of me or on the phone when I can hear you! (This just turns my stomach inside out!)
- Do not ask me to spy for you when I am at my other parent’s home. (This makes me feel disloyal and dishonest!)
- Do not ask me to keep secrets from my other parent. (Secrets make me feel anxious!)
- Do not ask me questions about my other parent’s life or about our time together. (This makes me uncomfortable. So just let me tell you.)
- Do not give me verbal messages to deliver to my other parent. (I end up feeling real anxious about their reaction. So please just call them, leave them a message at work or put a note into the mail.)
- Do not send written messages with me or place them into my bag. (This also makes me uncomfortable.)
- Do not blame my other parent for the divorce or for things that go wrong in your life. (This really feels terrible! I end up wanting to defend them from your attack. Sometimes it makes me feel sorry for you and that makes me want to protect you. I just want to be a kid, so please, please . . . stop putting me into the middle!)
- Do let me take items to my other home as long as I can carry them back and forth. (Otherwise it feels like you are treating me like a possession.)
- Do realize that I have two homes not just one. (It doesn’t matter how much time I spend there.)
- Do not treat me like an adult, it causes way too much stress for me. (Please find a friend or therapist to talk with.)
- Do not ignore my other parent or sit on opposite sides of the room during my school or sports activities. (This makes me very sad. Please act like parents and be friendly, even if it is just for me.)
- Do not use guilt to pressure me to love you more, and do not ask me where I want to live.
- Do let me love both of you and see each of you as much as possible! Be flexible even when it is not part of our regular schedule.
Thanks, your loving child
Amarillo Sets New Texas Precedent Regarding Division of Social Security Benefits in Divorce
In re Marriage of Everse, 07-11-00220-CV (Tex. App.—Amarillo June 18, 2013).
When dividing property in divorce, Texas courts distinguish between separate property and community property. A spouse keeps all of his separate property. Community property, on the other hand, is divided between the divorcing spouses.
In the Everse case, the Amarillo Appellate Court made two significant additions to the division of Social Security benefits in divorce.
First, invested Social Security benefits are a person’s separate property as long as the benefits are traceable. The Court sites an Idaho case with similar facts. Bowlden v. Bowlden, 794 P.2d 1145 (Idaho Ct. App. 1989), remanded, 794 P.2d 1140 (1990). “There, the husband began receiving monthly Social Security benefits during the marriage. The marital community had sufficient other income to support the couple so the benefits the husband received from Social Security were deposited in checking and savings accounts. At the time the parties were divorced, the husband claimed the money he received from Social Security was his separate property, while the wife maintained it was community in nature.” The Amarillo court adopted the reasoning of the Idaho court and other courts: the Supremacy Clause of the US Constitution causes federal statutes to supersede state family law with regard to Social Security benefits.
Second, foreign Social Security benefits are community property. The parties married in 1993, and Mr. Everse began receiving Dutch Social Security benefits in 1996. The Dutch Social Security benefits were a product of Mr. Everse’s work in the Netherlands from 1948 through 1960. The Court ruled that without something more than merely evidence that his foreign income was Dutch Social Security, the foreign income was community property.
Where does the Appellate Court leave us? The Appellate Court does not tell us what would be sufficient for foreign Social Security to be a person’s separate property.
Innocent Spouse Tax Relief
My ex-spouse claimed improper deductions or credits on our joint tax return, and the IRS is now after me.
Spouses often file their taxes jointly. Unfortunately, errors in the tax return may present additional problems for divorced spouses. A woman, for example, may be liable if her ex-husband claimed improper deductions or credits on their past tax return. In such circumstances, the woman may be eligible for “innocent spouse relief.” To be an innocent spouse, the spouse must not have had knowledge of the tax error, among other requirements.
A person may decide to deal with the IRS without representation, or hire a professional. One capable professional is Dale O’Neal. He is an attorney based out of Fort Worth who specializes in the intersection of tax law and family law.
Keeping Up With Your Child’s Schooling During and After Divorce
Lubbock Independent School District App for iPhone and Android
Couples going through a divorce may wish to download the new Lubbock schools app on their phone. Divorcing couples often have a difficult time communicating. A new phone app by the Lubbock school district can now keep you up to date with your child’s schooling without having to go through the other spouse. The app lists upcoming school events, your student’s grades, and even email contacts for your student’s teachers.